There’s nothing like the day that’s meant to be the happiest of your life to throw up stress, family conflict and emotional turmoil.

But it is just a day.

Like, literally one day of your life.

I think between the stress of deciding on napkins and where Aunt Marge is going to sit… people forget that. I’ve seen many a cool, calm, collected couple become ravaged by the stressors of party planning and lose their cool (and their budgets whilst they are at it). Apparently the average Aussie wedding now costs $33,810 (according to Easy Weddings’ 2024 report). And that’s average. That’s a lot of cash.

Now, normally I need to keep it pretty general and vague in these replies (hello compliance team if you’re reading!), but today I don’t think I need to.

My answer is clear: Have the wedding you want.

And I realise that families are complex and that it’s easy for me to say that as someone who has never wanted to get married. But I also think we have way too many societal pressures and norms thrust on us when it comes to weddings. And we need to fight back.

So, if you don’t want a big wedding – don’t have one. If you don’t want random guests of your in-laws, don’t invite them. If you want to elope and then go for pizza do it. There are no rules here (except, you know, the legal certificate bits).

I’ve been to my fair share of weddings, some cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, some were canapes at a pub.

But do you know what all the best ones had in common? It wasn’t the flowers, or the candy bars, fancy photo booths or expensive table wear – it was the fun.

So, sit down with your partner and figure out what exactly the two of you want for the day. Make a list of must-haves, nice to haves, not important elements. See where you’re aligned and discuss where you have differences and why it’s important to the other person. Think of it in conjunction with your other life goals - because you’re signing up to a life together not just a day, there are other goals no doubt on the other side of that.

Then you need to clearly articulate your plans to any family members necessary. If someone if offering a cash gift with conditions, then it isn’t a gift. It’s buying power… I would make all your plans assuming that you may not get any funds. Which is fine, because you were grateful for the offer but have created clear boundaries and understand if that offer is no longer on the table (do it nicely, they are family now remember).

Also think about what else you could do with that money?

✨ Invest it:
If you invested $33k into a low-cost diversified ETF portfolio and added nothing else, assuming a 7% return, it could grow to $133,000 + in 20 years.

🏡 Boost your home deposit:
That could be the difference between buying a home this year vs. renting for another five.

🌴 Take a dreamy holiday:
A really nice 4-week Europe trip for two could cost $15k- $20k. You’d still have cash left over for your next adventure.

🐶 Buy a bunch of dogs:
Let’s say it’s $4k to adopt and raise a rescue pup for the first year - you could get like 8 dogs. (We’re not saying you should, but you could and yes, I realise they have ongoing costs.)

So do whatever the hell your (joint) heart’s desire. This is actually a really good opportunity for the two of you to start your new chapter with clear communication and values based decision making skills.

Think about what you will look back on in years to come and be happy about, and make decisions with that in mind. And tell your soon to be mother-in-law I say hi.

Have a money dilemma?

Money dilemmas can be a nightmare! They can leave you up all night ruminating about what to do, have you feeling alone and isolated or just plain ol' stuck. So, we are here to help. I am going to tackle one a week and give you my unbiased, no BS general thoughts on how to tackle your conundrum. We would love for you to send yours (or someone you know) in. 

Obvs all of this is general advice only... especially important to note any and all of the comments above do not take into account your objectives, financial situation or needs. Before acting on any information, you should consider the appropriateness of the information provided and the nature of the relevant financial product having regard to your objectives, financial situation and needs.