Firstly, if you have already left this situation, I want to say I am really proud of you! Leaving is a really hard (and dangerous) time for victims. But from everyone who I have worked with, who has walked down a similar road, they tell me it is a much better, healthier, happier one.

If you are currently experiencing this but haven’t left yet, I will also give you some ideas below to assist you.

Rebuilding after financial abuse is a deeply personal journey, and it's completely normal to feel overwhelmed. But remember, you can regain control and improve your financial world.

It’s also really important to recognise the emotional and financial toll that financial abuse can take on you. It’s okay to feel EVERYTHING. You’re allowed to feel rage. Cry. Turn the music up and scream. Give yourself time to heal, and remember, every small step is progress. The fact you’re reading this means you are already making progress.

Net Wealth Position

Assuming you have reached a financial settlement, now is the time to get a helicopter view of your overall situation.

List out all your assets (cash, super, investments, property value...etc) including their current value and then itemise all your current liabilities (debts – like mortgages, credit cards, personal loans, loans to family members...etc).

Now you want to take your asset total number and minus your total liabilities from it.

TOTAL ASSETS – TOTAL LIABILITIES = NET WEALTH POSITION*

*Sometimes this is called a Networth, but let me say this loud and clear... Your worth is not based on your wealth. You are far more than numbers on a spreadsheet. Remember that.

You may also find that it comes out as a negative number (your total debts are higher than your assets), this means we are in rebuild phase and need a solid strategy to get your debt position down and your assets up.

Create a Basic Cashflow Plan

This doesn’t need to be overly hard or complicated. Jot down your income and then line item all your expenses. Then get a total so you know exactly where you stand.

You can use tools available through MoneySmart’s Budget Planner: A free online tool that helps you track your income, expenses, and savings. Only thing to note is there isnt a way you can download it to excel (annoying!), but if you don’t change computers it should auto-save your data.

Build an Emergency Fund

I am sure you are fully aware why it’s always important to have an Emergency Savings Account in your own name. If you don’t have one yet, once you’ve done your Cashflow Plan you should be able to see how much you can contribute to it every pay cycle, even a small amount each month can build a financial buffer to help you in your time of need.

Look for high-interest savings accounts (many of which have no account fees). Just make sure they don’t have weird rules you need to adhere to receive the interest amount. Hate that, more effort... you don’t need that in your life right now... you need ease and simplicity. Let’s build that for you.

Check Everything

Now is the time to make sure you have everything updated. All your providers have your new mailing address and email address. Change all your passwords on everything and add two-factor authentication where you can. Make sure you no longer have any joint bank accounts open and if there is a reason why you do, and there is cash in there, make sure there is are joint signatories added to any withdrawals over a certain amount (talk to your bank about this, they should be able to help).

Super beneficiaries need updating? What about your life insurance? Does your Will or Estate Plan still have them listed?

I would also recommend doing a credit check to make sure no debts/credit applications have been taken out without your knowledge.

Immerse Yourself in Supportive Content

Now is the time to really believe and back yourself. You are capable beyond your wildest beliefs! Promise. So, make time to lean into learning and taking action with your money.

If you like podcasts, then you may already know I host the Financially Fierce Podcast and have a new episode our every week. But there are a bunch that you may want to lean into. I don’t know how old you are, or what life stage you’re at but here are a few that might be good; Money, Money, Money, This is Property, Retire Right (all of these are Produced by Glen and the team who run my Podcast, but honestly they are excellent!). I also love The Broke Generation by Emma Edwards, Rask also do a bunch of top notch ones weekly.

Lately I have also been consuming a bunch of episodes by Mel Robbins (esp when I am feeling overwhelmed and need to get my butt moving!) and I love Unlocking Us by Brene Brown. I also like Diary of a CEO if you have a business or want to start one in the future.

Basically, fill your ears, eyes, brain and heart with stuff that is going to make you feel empowered, supported, confident and ready to take on the world.

Grab some post-it notes and write some inspiring things on them and put them all over the house. Change them up as you need to. Sounds crazy, but just try it and you might be surprised by the results.

Get Support

There are free community resources in Australia that offer financial counselling and advice:

• National Debt Helpline: Call 1800 007 007 for free, confidential advice from professional financial counsellors.
• Financial Counselling Australia: Offers free, independent financial advice for people in financial difficulty. They can help you work through your finances without judgement and suggest next steps.
• Good Shepherd Australia New Zealand: Provides financial counselling, no-interest loan schemes, and programs to help women who have experienced financial abuse.
• 1800- Respect: Offers 24/7 support. They have information, counselling & support services for people leaving family violence. Call 1800 737 732.
• WESET (Women’s Services Network): A national organisation supporting women impacted by violence, including financial abuse.

 
Set Manageable Financial Goals

Start with manageable financial goals. Whether it’s paying down a bit of debt, saving a small amount, or learning a new financial concept each week, every step counts. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they seem.

Let Go of Guilt

Financial abuse is a deeply painful experience, but it’s important to recognise that the responsibility lies with the abuser, not you. The setbacks you've experienced are not your fault. Give yourself credit for your resilience and your decision to rebuild.

If you need more specific advice or resources, please feel free to reach out. You're not alone, and every step you take is a victory.

If You Are Planning On Leaving:

If you are currently experiencing Financial Abuse (or know someone who is), the below may be helpful. I would encourage you to open any links on a device that cannot be tracked (or you may need to open incognito/clear your browser history).

• I found an online resource called Your Toolkit – which looks like it has a bunch of into and resources that could be helpful for you.
• Ask a trusted friend to help you. This may mean setting up a new email account, getting mail directed to them or getting them to search for information for you so there is no trace of it.
• Most big Banks are now much better at assisting victims of Financial Abuse. Some offer specific services on this, including loans to help you get re-established.
• If you don’t have a bank account of your own, I would recommend setting one up (again talk to your bank so you can have mail go to a different address if needed). Then ask your employer to add some of your income directly into that account.
• If you don’t have any income, but have access to money to buy groceries, you could consider buying small gift cards each time you shop that can be accrued for a long period of time (consider where you leave these), so you have some access to funds immediately when you leave. It's not as good as cash, but it's better than nothing.
• I would also suggest taking important/precious items out of the house to your trusted person over a period of time, so it is not obvious.
• Seek Legal help (via Legal Aid if needed) where appropriate

I also want to say, I am not an expert in this area. I try really hard to educate myself on it, but it’s actually not something Financial Advisers are taught NOTHING about through our formal education or Professional Development requirements (which is utterly insane and needs to be addressed immediately, if not sooner!). So this list may not be exhaustive. But I hope it’s a good start to help you on your journey.

Jess

PS. If you're in a really tight spot and want to do our next Greenhouse intake (kicks off early next year), as we can help you figure out a payment plan that works for you, or potentially offer you a partial scholarship. Reach out to the team and we can get in touch to discuss. I never want money to be the reason you don't learn about money and whilst we still need to run our business to be profitable, I want to do everything I can to help support you. Especially when you're in need. x

Have a money dilemma?

Money dilemmas can be a nightmare! They can leave you up all night ruminating about what to do, have you feeling alone and isolated or just plain ol' stuck. So, we are here to help. I am going to tackle one a week and give you my unbiased, no BS general thoughts on how to tackle your conundrum. We would love for you to send yours (or someone you know) in. 

Obvs all of this is general advice only... especially important to note any and all of the comments above do not take into account your objectives, financial situation or needs. Before acting on any information, you should consider the appropriateness of the information provided and the nature of the relevant financial product having regard to your objectives, financial situation and needs.